Requiem for a Dream

Fuck, and I was in such a good mood until I saw this movie. 

It's an amazing movie. So well made, with great and convincing actors and a supurb story and script. But that's the problem: it's so well done, you feel like shit at the end for not being able to do anything for the characters. The mom was the worst, because I kept imagining that as my grandma, and I started to feel really bad. And when she was in the hospital, and then he friends came to see her, I was an emotional wreck.

It's great, but I just can't recomend this movie to everyone. If you can't stand "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," this movie is deffinitly not for you...if you liked it, then this movie is for you, but just be warned it is just as, or more, depressing and heart wrenching. I just can't judge people the same now.

ARGGH

I finally got a Cajun Dance Party album. Or...got the first one I could find. I've been looking for one for forever. And now I has one! And I got "Who Killed Harry Houdini?" by I'm From Barcelona, and FL Studio.

The I'm From Barcelona album rocks, and tumbles! It rolls better then Cajun Dance Party (I still love you though!) Thanks NPR for playing one of their songs, or else I wouldn't so happy right now, because indie pop makes me happy.

Hmph

"I can't really remember much of what happened after all of that. I'm sorry if you were expecting something really elaborate and witty, something detailed and wonderful, but I just don't know. I realize that this isn't much of a story, an autobiography of sorts, if I can't remember what happens to me. But it is something you just have to accept, that maybe people won't live up to your wonderful expectations of life, that maybe the autobiography you are reading is so empty and wrong, and that nothing is right in it and you will never know. Because, if everything was perfect for you, life would be boring. And because it's perfect, you can't mess up. So instead you mess up other people's lives for fun. None of that really brings me to my next point in thought. Or maybe it does matter. Just, remember that I am me, you are you, and whoever I am talking about is that person alone. You don't know me, and I don't know you, and you don't know who Adal is yet. You might get to meet Adal, but you will never know him. You will never know me also, so don't think so quickly, because I am me, and I might be wrong. I just thought it was all a bit important to tell you, before it became too late."

-me

What Sarah Said

N/A

I've wondered how people write music. How they compose it so it sounds good. Because what ever genera it is, it all works together.

I've been listening to Explosions in the Sky a lot recently, and I really like it. I like the "Friday Night Lights" soundtrack the best, even their song "Seagull" which has vocals in it. I like "Sonho Douado" a lot too, and "Your Hand in Mine." 

My older brother was also telling me that people make fun of my blog and facebook, and me generally. At his college, and some kids I knew back at Newport. Why? It really doesn't make sense, unless they feel the need to think poorly of someone they know nothing of just to make themselves feel better. I think it's better to toss your nose up high and feel haughty about yourself then put someone down and make yourself feel good that way. Because then we feel bad about ourselves, and why? Because we were just doing what we were doing, and some one thinks it is silly.

Maybe those people should take some drugs to alter reality, because apparently the reality I create sucks.

Long Cat and his Thread

Yet the boy could not see any farther then the hills would permit. The sun drenched it's kissed beyond where boy could ever imagine going, and all he wept. 

He wept for his mother which had gone at such a tender age. He wept for his father who was still there, but only to go to dementia. He wept for his Helen who had drowned because she was tired. But finally, he wept for himself:

His self composures told him to weep for himself. He wept and wept and wept, as the sun waned and came, looming largely upon the boy like a stone goddess in the sky. And when he wept, he only thought of one thing:

How he didn't even know himself.

How the boy could not dance for no other. Not even himself. It tore him to the point of being individual threads in existence, neglecting to be picked up and used. To be put together in a form. To be made into a quilt, a textile, or even just used to hold existence together. No, no, no no no- 

he was a neglected one, as the sun scoffed at him, calling him pathetic and worthless and he wept and tore himself apart. 

But not everyone looked down upon the boy poorly. Some looked at him highly. He had the potential, the pure potential, to create out of air what is otherwise just hidden. He had the ability to share so much, and expect so little: he could say and say, and he could listen and hear what the world had to say itself. He gave so much of himself, allowing others to take and use his threads. He just never used anyone else's threads.

Mice

Today...today was amazing. I absolutely adore drama now, and all the people. My expectations for the musical has risen by an exponential amount, and I'm so impressed by how well we are progressing.

Anyways, we got a computer in the green room, which is just a lounge where all the magic of the musical happens. We have a wall of mirrors and a sewing machine that I think I broke, woo hoo. Ok, back on track once more, there is an old iMac 3G. I stole the mouse, but I forgot the keyboard. I love the Apple pro mouse, I'm using it now. It's amazing, even with only one button. 

Anyways, old Apple keyboard, your going to be in my greasy hands this time tomorrow!

Hiya

Ok, Wait! One more...

hiyao

Today

I'm so tired. For no reason. It wasn't even an intensive day, just late. I get home at around eight pm. It's not bad because I was only at school for a two hour practice, and Friday is going to be like six hours. I think we're going to run as much of the musical as we can.

I can play "Different Names" by DCfC on the piano now, and sing to it. And Obama now supports nuclear energy, which was a big fence topic and factor people were weighing. So I'm pretty sure that we, the libtards, now have presidency in our pockets.

Physics homework/notes

Advance Maths Topic homework

AP US Gov reading/notes

G'night, I hope. Text me, find my number on facebook.

n/a

In fire, in fire

The young man and the zenith sun

and a few things I heard from you;

In the line of fire

Waning sky how you fell

Ethereal stars only out of arms

How my mother caught me

After I told her I was falling

You can remind me

How much you love me

And now enough can I say

I love you so

Not anymore

On fire, on fire

Your limbs too little in my arms

In fire, in fire

In the line of fire

More then a few times I asked for it now

And we close your eyes softly

Trembeling ands pressed quietly

As cooling pads pressed hollowed eyes

Each sweeping down neatly

Weakly, good night, good night

Good Winter

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets 
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines


Who will love you?

Who will fight?

Fuck It

I'm sorry, but I don't understand all this secret shit we have in life.

No more of any of it.

Mind Powered

Quite obviously those who kill are not right in the mind. I do not believe that there is any case where you are given the right to kill. None, what so ever.

Charles Whitman:
The murder of 14 people who wounded 31 others. The deadliest school shooting in United States history. He killed mostly from a tower with a rifle, after stabbing his mother and wife. He left suicide notes for the two. What confuses me is that he doesn't try and make it sound like they wrote it, but it was just his own thoughts of what he just did. His wishes, not his mother or wifes.

Mother
To Whom It May Concern: I have just taken my mother's life. I am very upset over having done it. However, I feel that if there is a heaven she is definitely there now...I am truly sorry...Let there be no doubt in your mind that I loved this woman with all my heart.

Wife

I imagine it appears that I brutally killed both of my loved ones. I was only trying to do a quick thorough job...If my life insurance policy is valid please pay off my debts...donate the rest anonymously to a mental health foundation. Maybe research can prevent further tragedies of this type.

There is something so dark and wrong there. Something horribly beautiful also.

The Management

I've never heard anything so recent and so amazing. So different. It makes me want to move so bad. They talk like I think.

MGMT

Who needs drugs when you can just listen to psychedelic music?

Why does there have to be rap at dances when there is MGMT and M.I.A. and Crystal Castles and Aphex Twins and Lykke Li and Bjork and The Doors?

Here's a Kooks cover of their hit, Kids for all mon amis dans a Newport.

Rhymes

Poetry: A Magazine of Verses

Night came.

And the battle's surging range

Receded like a tired sea.

That brought with it many dead and strange;

And all the dead lay there heavily.

The grey horse picked its way

Past great fists starkly warning it back;

In a forign land the dead men lay

Where it stepped over grass that was matted and black.

And he upon the grey horse sat,

Looked down on the colors moist and frayed,

Saw silver like shivered glass ground flat,

Saw iron wither, and helmets drink,

And swords stand stiff in armor's chink;

Saw tattered hands waving tattered brocade...

And saw them not.

After the tulmut of battle her rode

Onward as though in a trance, alone;

And with passion in his warm cheeks  glowed,

Like those of a lover his grey eyes shone.

-Maria Rilke

Break the Moon

Like much of the crying world, I am dissapointed with many of the casted actors and actresses for the upcomming "Twilight" film. Why, why?! I can understand Robert Pattison, but the rest of them, really? Why? And why does everyone look like they are stuck in the early 2000's? Especially Alice and her nasty "Friends" hair cut that flips out at the ends. Ugh.

Here are who I think would be better. Be aware this is based on look and style, not acting ability:

Bella Cullen/Kasia Struss

Edward Cullen/David Jensen

Rosalie Hale/Alyona Osmanova

Alice Cullen/Agyness Deyn

Jasper Hale/Boyd Holbrook

I'm not done, and this isn't the quickest, easiest thing in the world. I bet I'll change my mind about a few of these over time, so hmm. Bella and Jasper, however, are perfect I think.

Edit - 9.10.8 - Edward is now David Jensen.